Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Circus

• It begins, innocently enough, with an un-named narrator describing their excitment at learning Jennifer Love Hewitt is to be the special guest ringmaster at a local circus:

  She looked fantastic, she entered the arena on a beautiful black stallion. She was wearing stretch pants and a low cut top. Her tits were bouncing all over the arena.

  Naturally, those are the only aspect of her fantastic appearance that actually merit description

  Her big moment came when she lay on the ground perfectly still. The trainers brought over an elephant and had him lay down on top of her. I thought she was extremely brave, and it seemed oddly erotic.

  Foreshadowing!

  After the show, desperate to see more, our nameless hero follows her back to her tent:

  I was in luck, I saw the tent that they had set up for Jennifer. It was open and I could see right inside of it. I hid behind a tree and had a perfect view. I could die a happy man if I could see her undress.

  There was a circus worker in the tent with her, he left and I thought, maybe she will change. I wanted to sit down but I couldn't. I was glad nobody else was around.

  A couple of minutes later the worker returned. He had the stallion that Jennifer had ridden into the arena. I hoped that was her transportation.

  Prepare to be disappointed.

  Jennifer gave the horse an apple and let him smell her hand. She then dropped to her knees. I couldn't believe what I saw next. She reached underneath the horse and grabbed it's cock.

  [...]

  I could hear her grunt and groan as the giant cock was buried deeper and deeper inside of her. She had about 14 inches of horse cock stuffed into her cunt. She rocked back a little further and took another inch.

  The trainer released the stallion. He bucked forward and buried his cock all the way into the young actress. I could not believe what I was seeing. Where did all the cock disappear too?

  Surely that's a question we've all asked ourselves at some point.

  The trainer left to get another horse. I couldn't wait. Jennifer was lying on the floor with 4 fingers shoved inside her cunt. I was a drooling fool.

  I won't dispute that.

  The trainer returned but he didn't have a horse, he had returned with the elephant from the show.

  And so it reaches a new level of wrong.

  The elephant caught a whiff of Jennifer's dripping cunt and it's cock started to grow, and grow, and grow.

  It stood at 4 feet long and was thicker than her calf. She was terrified, but she had to have it.

  WHY?!

  It buried 2 feet of cock in Jen. She screamed at the top of her lungs, I wanted to go help her but my third leg wouldn't work.

  Quit your boasting, boy.

  I must have been dreaming. Superstar actress Jennifer Love Hewitt was in front of me with 3 feet of elephant cock buried in her cunt.

  Keep in mind that three feet would put the end somewhere in her neck.

  Jennifer couldn't take anymore, she begged the trainer to get that cock out of her. He told her he had to let him finish or he would be out of control and could trample them both.

  Jennifer was being split in 2, she had to get off that monster cock. She told him she would suck off the beast. He tried to pull her off but she was stuck. He finally told the beast to stand and he crawled underneath it and held on to Jennifer. When the beast stood on two feet it's cock was pulled from out of Jennifer.

  Reason not withstanding, she comes out of this with no ill effects, and is even able to, er... finish things:

  The cum came spilling out. The beast kept cumming and completely cover her face. I came sprawling out of my hiding place.

  Jen and the trainer came running over to me. Jen was completely covered in elephant sperm so I didn't offer to shake her hand. They begged me not to tell anyone what I had just seen. I told them I am sure we can come to some kind of agreement.

  ...All things considered, though, would you really want to?

  We'll never know just what kind of agreement he had in mind, as the story ends here. Normally, I'd provide the name of the author, but they've apparently decided they'd rather not be associated with this thing.

  I'd be lying if I said I blamed them...

  Sinkhole by Langley

  The premise: A crazed fangirl meets Johnny Depp when they both fall into a sinkhole in some obscure part of Florida and he somehow gets injured. She has to save him. Does TRUE LOVE ensue?!

  Lake Woodruff National Wildlife Refuge contains over 18,000 acres of marsh, swamp and upland that border the St. John's River. This was the beginning of the migratory bird season in Florida, and being an amateur birder, I hoped that I'd catch a glimpse of some of the more rare migrants.

  I love walking, especially alone. Usually on excursions such as this, I carry a small backpack containing water, a snack, a birder's field guide or two, insect repellent, sunscreen, and a rain poncho "just in case."

  Oh, hello unnecessarily detailed exposition. Glad you could join us. Excuse me while I fall asleep for 6 hours until you're over.

  OHMYGOD! An earthquake? No, no way! A sinkhole? Could I be down in a sinkhole? OHMYGOD!

  OHMYGOD! A sinkhole? In a fic called "Sinkhole"???? Shocking, truly.

  "Ehhh…uhhh…ohhh, fuck! My head…[cough]…[gasp]…my head..."

  This is without a doubt the finest rendering of dialogue I have ever experienced. The realism almost blows my mind.

  I'd SWEAR I knew that voice from somewhere! I looked at him again…really studied his features in the dim light…those dark eyes and eyebrows…that voice…the hair…the cheekbones…the lips. Then the proverbial light bulb clicked on.

  "Uh…what'd you say your name was?" I asked weakly, afraid to comprehend the incomprehensible.

  ...

  "Depp…I'm…Johnny Depp," he whispered.

  Our narrator claims to be a Depp fan...yet it took her like 10 minutes to figure out who he was. Was she a fan without seeing his movies? Or ever seeing him? I dunno, Johnny Depp seems like he would be fairly easy to recognize...

  Johnny is tragically pinned under a rock. OH NOES. Our intrepid narrator decides to bring him water. In her mouth. Clearly for survival purposes only. No ulterior motives here.

  "Johnny, you're probably not gonna like this idea, but…[sigh]…well, I could bring water to you in my mouth."

  His lengthy silence sounded to me like a deafening roar of "NO!!!" Then I heard a big sigh…then, with a voice full of resignation, "Fuck. Well, c'mon then…[cough]."

  Then they have to huddle together for warmth. Obviously, again, only for survival. But wait:

  Just when I was beginning to relax, I realized that he was aroused. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my body stiffen again. I was afraid to move, I didn't know what to do or say.

  Being injured and trapped in a sinkhole with a slightly obsessed fan...hot.

  Then I asked him the one question I'd always wanted to ask…did he ever read the Johnnydeppfan dot com message board? And he confessed that he read the board all the time! I couldn't believe it!

  Well, that makes two of us who can't believe it then. Is it even remotely feasible that Johnny Depp reads slightly obsessive fan fiction about himself? Does Johnny Depp even know what the internet is? Isn't he too aloof and European for that?