Clarice (Do You Burn)

• I don't even need to open my mouth. The author manages to shoot herself in the foot all by herself in her opening preamble.

  Imagine if Anthony Hopkins recorded a rock song for the Hannibal soundtrack...and that Jodie Foster was providing the moans...

  THIS IS A HEAVY-METAL TUNE, VERY BLEAK, BUT VERY SEXY...LOTS OF GUITARS, DRUMS AND A FEW KEYBOARDS...THINK TYPE O NEGATIVE WITH A SMIDGE OF MARILYN MANSON.

  The little ditty itself begins with the delightfully named Lecter's Rap and ends with the mind numbing repetition of;

  HANNIBAL
  Do you burn, Clarice...

  CLARICE
  aaaaauuuuuuhhhh...

  HANNIBAL
  Do you love me?

  CLARICE
  Aaaaaauuuuhhhh...

  HANNIBAL
  Do you burn, Clarice...

  CLARICE
  Aaaaauuuuhhhhh...

  HANNIBAL
  Can you see me?

  CLARICE
  Aaaaauuuhhhhh...

  HANNIBAL
  Do you burn, Clarice...

  CLARICE
  Aaaaaaauuuuhhh...

  HANNIBAL
  Can you feel me...

  CLARICE
  Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!!! Aaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhh!!! Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhh!!! Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhhhh!!! AAAAAAAUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  Our plucky songwriter has even indicated where the guitar solos go, although you'll need to provide them yourself as she hasn't gone as far as to give us the actual sheet music, and I can't imagine Jodie Foster will be recording this anytime soon.